Citizens Regret Electing Hardline Cat Leader of Living Room
Residents of the Miller household are regretting last month’s decision to elect Phantom the cat to the position of Living Room President. The cat breezed to a decisive win in the general election against her opponent, the family’s hamster Hemingway, on a platform of more snuggling and and the campaign slogan, “Paws, not claws.”
But according to Miller family members, the cat has failed to deliver on her campaign promises.
"Phanny hasn’t snuggled with me any more than usual," said eldest daughter Melanie. "She mostly just sits on the high perch she had installed and stares down at her subjects with an icy gaze. It give us all the willies."
The cat leader has also been destructive.
"She completely tore up my leather recliner," said Miller father Tom. "We had a vote about whether to allow that and it passed five to nothing in the family caucus, but she vetoed it and scratched the hell out of the chair anyway! She’s got to go."
The family is considering a recall vote — or they may just get a dog.